Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
