Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
