i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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