So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
