i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
