she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
