I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
