There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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