my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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