I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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