I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
