Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
