why didn't you poke me back
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
