i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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