hell yes lets make some ravioli
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize