You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize