There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
