Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
