This is not my ceiling
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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