Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
