the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
