Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
