Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize