Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
