I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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