Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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