Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
