dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
