So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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