how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
