We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
