But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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