i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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