Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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