i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
