Pappa wants mamma naked
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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