She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The beer is more important than you right now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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