Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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