i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
