Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
