I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize