It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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