That's intense
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize