considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize