You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize