Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
