i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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