I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just google imaged poop.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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