I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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