it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
