***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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