I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
