I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
