Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
