dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We had sex on a dog bed..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
