ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
