Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
