I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
