I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
