your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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