I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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