So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize